I remember in my counselling training doing a class on group work. We were tasked with each running a group with our classmates. One of my classmates ran a group meditation session, and we imagined ourselves as animals and explored what the image meant to us.
I was a dragon.
This image of myself continued to visit me in my dreams and other visualisation exercises. A dragon that was still, silent and asleep. But with a fire in its belly, when awoken it had the power to destroy the land. Perched high on top of the castle, breathing fire on all who tried to attack the people inside.
I have done a lot of personality tests over the years, and almost all of them describe me as the kind of person who seems calm, stable, accommodating and helpful, but once you trigger my sense of justice and value systems, I can be fierce and direct. The powerful dragon protecting the most vulnerable.
Now I officially have an ADHD diagnosis, I’m looking at this image of myself again through a new lens. Understanding that my brain runs at two extreme speeds: procrastination for the boring stuff and deep, hyper-focused passion for the meaningful stuff. The sleeping dragon, and the fierce, fire-breathing protector.
Linking back to my counselling training, my favourite paper was Narrative Therapy. The approach leans into two things I love: honouring people as the experts in their own lives and being creative. Playing with challenges instead of pathologising the person.
What if I externalised my experience of ADHD as my dragon companion? I think this would have been especially useful for me as an undiagnosed child. I would go to school and be the perfect student, then come home, get overwhelmed and have what, at the time, were considered “temper tantrums”.
What if, instead of punishment, sometimes physical but mostly isolation, we had asked the dragon what they needed? Understood that it had been trying so hard to stay asleep all day and had finally reached its limit. Learnt the tools and strategies it needed. What if we had created a “How to Train Your Dragon” toolkit?
The problem with what-ifs is we don’t have time travel, and even if we did, I have watched enough movies to know that never really works out the way you expect. However, I have enough faith in Narrative Therapy to believe such a strategy could have prevented the years of thinking there was something wrong with me, the constant drive to prove myself, and the need to atone for my mistakes.
So, what about my relationship with my dragon now?
My dragon is my friend. We still go on incredible adventures, but sometimes I need to play tricks on her, bargain and negotiate to get her to do the boring stuff, teach her to refine her fire and direct it in the right direction.
We are still working on it, but the biggest change is I recognise that neither of us is “bad” or “wrong”.
Further resources
If you’re interested in learning more about Narrative Therapy, the Dulwich Centre in Adelaide has an extensive collection of resources, including articles, videos, online courses and practice materials.
